Whatever unacceptable behaviour he does is strike one. Six Ways to Respond to the Silent Treatment in Relationships First off, it might help you to know that it's important to give him space during outings and time with his friendsso he has the opportunity to show them who he is without having to worry about what they think of you. Op doesn't have an issue with her bf being close with his sister. You could always just say how you feel, not in a accusatory way, using "I feel" statements. Your boyfriend is dating you for reasons that are far superior to physical. : r/TrueOffMyChest. We get crazy and silly together, have a ton of inside jokes and probably shut others out without meaning to. But that doesn't mean it has to stay that way! He honestly just doesnt seem ready to prioritize a girlfriend in his life. If he downplays your feelings and doesnt seem to understand why you feel this way, I would say its time for either a break or a breakup. Rather than prove to him you feel regret, you may be feeding into the cycle. If OPs boyfriend can't change a little to help her feel comfortable then it's more of an issue. I would maybe try reading the post again. He may be afraid of what they think about you or scared that they'll judge him for the way he behaves while you're around. Her boyfriend may not even realize how differently he is treating her vs his sister, or that she even cares about it. She is asking to not be the butt of his jokes to his sister, not be treated like the third wheel. If youre out together let your boyfriend know where you want to go. I dont think that would change until you marry your boyfriend. Until then no. Exchanging numbers does not necessarily succeeds in adulteration. It can be a wonderful, supportive thing. I can't even imagine how I would feel. Avoid texting him too much and making him upset. So rather than waiting around hoping he will come round, ask him straight up how he feels. We was at a family birthday this weekend, and I had to meet the rest of his family for the first time. And then if that doesnt work and this still bothers you I would find a new boyfriend. Probably B. Suggest he invites his friends over so the two of you can hang out at home. Don't write the man off, I don't know anyone who treats their sister this well and isn't a good dude. If you're interested in what he's saying, show it! But there are many reasons he might be behaving like this, and it's not always because he sees you as a nuisance or is ashamed of being with you. Theres a chance he hasnt realized these patterns in himself. Youre not a bad person for wanting to be equally having fun and respect. This is a poor take. Or maybe he just wants to fit in with his friends without having to put on a different "version" of himself that is more comfortable for you. Only his presence annoys me so much. A lot of the time we make assumptions about how our partner is feeling. Your man is pretty great, and you've been with him for a long time. I think that dude is not right for you OP. Just because your boyfriend seems cool and confident with his friends doesn't mean he doesn't have his worries about how they see him. (Minus him insulting you to make her laugh, thats straight up wrong). If this describes your situation, fear not: there are steps you can take to get him to open up and start introducing you more often! Right now it certainly sounds like you are not happy. Talking with him might work or it might not, but if you say nothing about your feelings then the relationship is guaranteed to fail. I'm not talking "punishment", but consequences. What can we do to move forward?. Let him know how being ignored makes you feel. Is your boyfriend from Alabama? With a professional relationship coach, you can get advice specific to your life and your experiences. Why does my boyfriend always ignore me when my sister is around - Quora If he doesn't take critizism well, he'll get defensive, and stop listening. I think you missed the entirety of what OP posted and that's why you're being down voted. People are jumping to really gross conclusions in the comments. What to do when your boyfriend ignores you for days is probably going to be very different from what you do when he has been ignoring you for weeks. Listen to some Lizzo and move on, there's loads of lads out there who won't pull this kind of he@dfuck. However, I have a hunch that he will tell you, you are being irrational and that's his sister and he will probably get mad. I warn you to make sure he understands how much you like his sister. Or if he spends a lot of time on his phone when you meet in person and barely acknowledges you, you could tell him it makes you feel a bit neglected and sad. Theres nothing wrong with a brother and sister being super close. It might seem like he's just being a jerk who doesn't respect youbut he's not just doing it to annoy you. I think you shouldn't like leave him immediately and the best thing to do is to talk about it, maybe he's used to doing this unconsciously or for some other reason but in a relationship you shouldn't be used or feel left out you should feel loved and that's what's important I'm a smartass. I'm sure your boyfriend isn't trying to hurt you or make fun of you; being around other people is just very tiring for him. Chances are your boyfriend is more likely to use work or other commitments rather than their own daughter. Taking responsibility for your part in the argument shows respect for yourself and your boyfriend. What they are doing isnt inherently wrong, but it is rude. Honestly I think you can save your breath on this one. I can see why and where youre coming from and its understandable imo. If youve been arguing he may also be ignoring you as a way of trying to avoid any further conflict. If hes defensive and combative, then dump him sis hes trash. Tell him you dont like when he threatens you in this way and that it makes you feel unsafe., Love to know what version of reddit youre on, OP: my bf spends alot of time with his sister, I want us to spend more time together, alone.. If I were you I'd start thinking about myself more and more, and stop thinking about a future with this guy and his sister. Just run.. source: experience, He's emotionally abusive. Yep! He will introduce you to his daughter when he feels you and him are ready. I don't mean to hurt anyone and the best response is a great comeback. health screening for preschoolers ati. If his behavior continues, you may want to reevaluate your relationship. When they realize they will not ever find someone they don't have a single issue with it just might be too late. You might be the best girlfriend ever, and they might be super nice to you, but it's normal for your boyfriend to want to impress them. You both have to take responsibility for creating the relationship you have. You love your boyfriend, but you've noticed that he's been acting a bit weird lately. After an argument, you both need to find some common ground. Learn to find enjoyment independently instead of begrudgingly following them around because this should be bf time. It kind of sounds like your boyfriend is fucking his sister. I never have to question my place in his life. I find it very odd that he wants her everywhere. Your boyfriend might not even realize this is happening, but when he's around his friends, it can be more intense for him than it is for anyone else, and he needs quiet time afterward to recover. She often complained of the same thing that he . My ex was that nice to his sister. Or ask if there is a particular reason why he involves her in everything you two do. It is not HER responsibility to teach someone how to treat a romantic partner and basic respect. And he isnt 17. Trust me you are always gonna be the third wheel. Find your voice to voice your wants and opinions. Other comments said it better than me about close sibling relationships. I cant find them funny and Id like you to stop.. She might even opine on the idea of an open relationship. Please talk with your boyfriend about wanting to dpend more time alone together as a couple, and see how he reacts to that. That relationship sounds crazy as hell. What Should I Do When My Boyfriend Ignores Me? | BetterHelp 2023 RelationshipExplained. Answer (1 of 37): This often happens in first relationships because the man doesn't want to appear too "whipped" to his friends. If he is ignoring you, filling his inbox only serves to annoy him and make him ignore you further. A guy who loves you a lot will WANT to spend time with just you and act like a couple. But do not attempt to change him if he resists, definitely do not wait. He could be brushing her off because he's getting less interested and prefers the company of people he likes better (his sister). The solution to all your concerns are the same, communication. my boyfriend ignores me when his sister is around She doesn't specify how long she's been dating this guy but from context I'm guessing not exactly ages. He was pretty nice, he was talking to me during recess and even in classes such as art. You shouldnt date guys who are mean to you as a joke. Theres a lot that could he going on so just talk it out. Hey, I know how it feels when your boyfriend ignores you when he's with his friends. Someone might fit with that and enjoy that. This is strange enough to run for the hills. When he ignores you, it means that you are less important to him. You might leave him for another guy but his sister won't. But you can legit just leave this dude. Maybe he's worried that being with you makes him seem like less of a "manly man." School, work, hobbies, friends, family, and a whole host of commitments need to be squeezed into 24 hours. Dont keep asking questions or trying to engage him in conversation. There are some suggestions here on how to talk to him that arent accusatory. Give it a few days and see what develops. Dating someone with children is tricky but with some good communication and respect for the parent/child bong, your relationship can flourish. I despise my deskmate. Only his presence annoys me so much. No, it isn't weird for him to buy stuff for his little sister, even with you there. And this could be the reason he acts differently around them than he does around you. If he is feeling angry and frustrated ignoring you is his way of non-verbally showing you that your actions or words were unacceptable to him. If he makes an excuse for why he cant meet but doesnt suggest an alternative, then it seems to confirm your suspicions. Eventually, this can cause the demise of your entire relationship. It might also be because he wants to avoid conflict, so he wont engage with you. Or sexual! Where Im afraid to be assertive because Im afraid to be rejected. As weve seen, how you handle your boyfriend ignoring you is going to depend on the reasons why. You on the other hand are still young and need to explore since you're ready. Some men can't make the connection, but they can if you force them to think about it. Full stop. That don't make it right, though. This can result due to past trauma or communication issues. This isn't the case with us so it's best we part ways now. "Sorry dude, I like you but this isn't really a relationship and I need a bit more than what you're offering.". Seems like a good time to get out of Alabama. You're not alone. This behavior is abnormal. It doesn't get better. This is not that at all. This may be something like he is losing interest in the relationship but doesnt have the courage to tell you. This tendency results from a passive-aggressive nature. But talking is always a good option first. Im so tired of this communicate nonsense. Not every relationship or person requires your energy. In this way, you can tell him that his silence makes you feel uncomfortable and ask how he feels about it. over every issue. But there is a lot wrong with a boyfriend intentionally doing things that are going to hurt his girlfriends feelings. If they eventually meet that potential and you meet again and date, cool. Tread careful I feel like getting into sibling things can get dangerous. The signs of a toxic family environment 1) They ignore your boundaries Boundaries are what help healthy relationships to function. You can discuss this with him but it seems like he needs more time to mature and figure out how to treat a romantic partner well. Things often resolve themselves with time, or your next steps are clearer. Your girlfriend isnt dating you seriously. Although this is the least likely reason, some men use their daughter as an excuse to pull away from a relationship. by Tell him that you both will need to help eachother along the way, because change is not easy. Being on the receiving end is painful and frustrating. I say be assertive. He does nice things for her and she is with us all the time. Its ok to say Im really hurt right now or I feel rejected right now. This can be very disheartening from someone you expect to put your first. Heed to your wants too. Shes young, no investment. Stop trying to make plans with him, stop trying to get his attention. If he takes a few hours to respond, hes most likely not ignoring you hes just busy. I've been in this relationship. Im sorry. That would be a deal breaker for me no matter the circumstances. Sorry, but it sounds like he just wants a girlfriend to say he has one when people ask. But OP shouldn't say anything, just pick yourself up and move on. Cuz if u do, I got bad news for u You aren't being insensitive or insecure, your feelings are incredibly valid. His behaviour is so so weird, he's acting like he has a crush on his sister. I know from personal experience that when I feel jealous I disengage from the group, when all that does is stick me deeper in my insecurities and further alienates my feelings from the rest of the group. Whether its his sister, his mom, a friend, why would you be ok with him treating you like that? He is trying to manipulate you. If he wants to spend his dates with his sister. This first step to fixing this issue is finding out why he ignores you. OP, you're completely right to feel the way you do. There isn't any guarantee that you will be on his side forever but his sister will. Tell him that for this relationship to work, you need a certain amount of ALONETIME. Is Dancing With Someone Else Cheating? If he's kind and caring, they can work it out. Explain how you feel and then listen carefully to his response. Maybe his sister is going through something and hes trying to help her out. Be very clear. For example, if he takes a long time to text you back you might tell him you start to feel paranoid when you dont hear from him and worry something is wrong. What you have explained is some weird behaviour coming from your boyfriend. Forget about his sister being involved, is he treating you the way you want to be treated in a relationship? Your gut is literally telling you not to settle for this guy. Rude a.f Make it his fault. dump him. Also, maybe somethings going on in his life or his sisters life thats bad. I cant help but think they have an incestuous relationship and you are the cover. These types of situations help show any red flags that could end up creating an unhealthy environment in your relationship. Oh my god this sub is really getting more and more into the nuclear options with each passing day. This is going to tell you straight away whether something is up. You are still young. For example, sending mean texts might get you attention from your boyfriend who is ignoring you, but its the wrong kind of attention. From what I understand from your post, he can ditch you for his sister in a heartbeat. Work as a team to find the solution. I poke you you poke me we get along just fine lmao. That's a different discussion, and all men needs to know that.). The point is that even though we seem to be constantly available, this is an unfair expectation. Sounds like he wants to have the social respect that comes from having a girlfriend without actually having a relationship. Fine. Relationship Hero is a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations, like when youre being ignored. Let him date his sister since that's what he is basically doing anyway. But its wrong that a guy is insulting you, even if its jokingly, in front of his family member. Its best to work on your own issues first, so you can better understand what caused them. when my boyfriend is with his friends, he completely ignores me, he doesnt text or call me, he makes no form of contact till the next day, half the time he doesnt even tell me when his going out. //