Steve Urkel: Edward this stuff's been hawked. Steve Urkel: Oh, pasha, you're making me blush again. This has never happened before. [looks over to the busted parts of the transformation chamber]. [laughs] But you never smile! Steve Urkel: [cracks up] Oh, that's rich! The next minute rump roast! Steve who? Gun, Carl. Now, I'm gonna give you a compliment. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Hey dad. Carl Otis Winslow: Out for a walk around the block. Rise! Laura: Well you're stubborn, irritating, loud, obnoxious, pushy, clumsy Steve Urkel: Hi everybody! That wasn't a rock video. Cornelius Eugene Urkel aka OGD: You paid him off. When are you going to the store? Oh, the room is spinning. Eddo. Cornelius Eugene Urkel aka OGD: Oh man I didn't think you were this cool. Chuck is twice the man, Raoul is. Steve Urkel: [collecting] Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. In the current social climate that is rich with dialogue about appropriate consent between men and women, women are quite reasonably, on guard about objectification. I can't! I had 8 shots of Espresso, a 6-pack of Jolt Cola, and a large bowl of Froot Loops with extra sugar. Rachel Crawford: Steve, did it ever occur to you that when the door is closed we're trying to keep unwanted people out? Steve Urkel: You know, every time you laugh you burn off three and a half calories? Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Oh, no thanks, I went before I left. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Only when we kiss, Laura Lee, only when we kiss [they passionately kiss]. Weasel: Yeah chill. This means you guys have to go together. Steve Urkel: Well, what if you trip or something? Laura: [as Steve walks he sobs and cries on Laura's shoulder] What's the matter baby, did you eat some bad cheese again? Carl: I don't have to take this, I'm going home! "Family Matters Quotes." Oh, you're a sore for sight eyes! Steve Urkel: Hi Laura, my little sweet potata! Carl: Okay, you read the instructions, while I add all the pieces. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [to a sorority girl] That dress is so tight! Robber: [holding up the convenience store where Carl, Steve, and Urkelbot are undercover, threatening Carl with a gun] You! You're setting a bad example for the kids. Steve Urkel: Thanks. Steve Urkel: No state your name not name your state. I'm wearin' you down baby, I'm wearin' you DOWWWWNN! He held operations in Chicago. I'd lay one on you that would weld your glasses to your face. Is that the problem? Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: [nervous laughter] Great Wedding, huh dad. They help move along our sentences. Harriette Winslow: Carl, out first table was next to the entrance where everybody was waiting to be seated. Steve Urkel: [Climbs over the balcony and falls] Oh! Waldo: [Monotone while Steve mouths his words with him] Pablo was a kind and gentle creature. Can you give me some money so I can finish my Christmas shopping? [Carl steps in the chamber and Stefan starts it up]. I can't think of a single reason not to do this every week. I just got a job! Harriette Winslow: Laura, you've had your head in those books all morning, got a big test coming up? Weasel: [pulls out a lot of cash from his pockets] Look at this $1500 dead presidents and the homies are still coming in. You refuse to go out with me for the last decade! Carl Otis Winslow: Edward, who are all these kids? Does that about cover it? White . SUBSCRIBE to get the latest. Laura: This is just a model, right? Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: I couldn't even go in. Laura: Steve Urkel, you are the most annoying human being that I have ever met! I wanna read it to my mom. no. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Waldo, You make up 1,000 flyers, Waldo Geraldo Faldo: But I'll get writer's cramp. Big guys have never played keep away with your hat on a cold day. Steve Urkel: Could. Carl Otis Winslow: Harriette, that kid is bad news. Steve Urkel: No, well, actually it's my Uncle Ernie's hearse. You're grounded for two weeks and you are to stay away from my car until it learns self-defense. And to top it all off you gave me an old card that I already have. Ty: No, he's Eddie's brother. Your baby shoes, your grandmother's denchers, fish jam; and I didn't get a thing for you. Ms. Steuben: But here you are. Eddie: Oh no, I forgot all about the car show. Harriette Winslow: And I always mark the year, you gave it to me. Carl Otis Winslow: Steve, Everything was Going Just fine, until You Blabbed that I was a cop. 89. Harriette Winslow: And you think I'm FAT? Ty: Actually I haven't got my wings yet and I play the keyboard. Robber: [threatens Steve] You! Carl Otis Winslow: Hey sweetheart, how about some pie? Carl Otis Winslow: I know. https://www.quotes.net/movies/family_matters_102099, https://www.quotes.net/movies/family_matters_quotes_102099. Steve Urkel: Laura, this is a a really special moment and well, I think we should celebrate it by getting married. [Urkel is playing Danny Boy on his Swiss Melody Chimes and Carl is furiously awaken by it. Laura: Remember when you tried to teach me how to sew? Steve Urkel: To be quite honest, Fuffner; I'd written you off as being incorrigible. Dec 25, 2011 - Explore Nadia Hussein's board "Steve Urkel", followed by 259 people on Pinterest. Carl: If that's the case then I plead guilty. Undaunted, Steve switches the station to polka music and ends up having a good time dancing with Waldo and Maxine], Carl: By the way, thanks for letting me use your chamber, Stefan. [takes note and crumbles it, Laura slams locker door, revealing the word 'N*gger' spray painted on it]. Cassie Lynn: But, it's a lie! Look how big and thick it is! There's no justification for this behavior! You're my friend. Harriette: That won't get the stains out. Harriette Winslow: [enters the house and sees Curtis] Hi. Harriette: I guess it wouldn't hurt to take a home economics class. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Why? Then he unfolds it] Well Tell me again. urkel-steve. Laura Lee Winslow: I know, but he said 'get lost, Laura'. You have the right to have an attorney present. Stefan Urkelle: [Fed up with Carl Urkel annoying him constantly] That's it, go home! Willie Fuffner: I don't know what you're talking about, officer. [Carl hits the mantel] Carl. Have you taken leave of your senses? I'm telling you straight out, I hate this. Steve Urkel: [whispering] I bent my dagger. Steve Urkel: [Talking to Eddie and his girlfriend] You heard her, you're all witnesses. Steve Urkel: Why, sure! It's late. This isn't right Weasel. We'll start with a common Korean phrase. Harriette Winslow: These flowers are not fresh. Steve Urkel: Your Honor, I would like to call Waldo Faldo! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [under laughing gas, laughing] I just realized, your name is Doctor Smiley. Easy Eddo. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: That stinks. Carl Otis Winslow: [Gasps] Why of all the low down Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Calm down, Carl. Who does these things? Carl: Typical. Steve Urkel: My "play-ground pass"? Myrtle Urkel: Oh, just two weeks. Rachel Crawford: Well, I'm planning dinner for a very, very special friend. And OOHHH, and him! Steve Urkel: [after discovering that the stereo in Eddie's car has had its serial number scratched off] Uh-uh. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: The refrigerator. Every time I'm around them, my mind goes blank. Carl was his horse. Steve could've been killed. The rest of the rules are covered in this contract. Her temperature shot up and she tossed more cookies than the Keebler elf. When I said my feelings for you might change, I was lying. You had an accident. The lovestruck genius of Steve Urkel. No more chimes. My daughter's been hurt and I can't do a thing about it. Baby Girl: You couldn't push me out of this park if you wanted to! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Who would've thought Harriette was a bit friendly. Muskrat Time! Cornelius Eugene Urkel aka OGD: Bye. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: I'm not dreaming anymore. Getting you to smile would be like pulling teeth! Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Harriette, stupid means good. So long! Stefan Urkelle: I'll have to buy new parts for the chamber. And then there was the time we went camping and we were in dyer need of a generator and we just plugged the toaster into Uncle Elijah and the Pop Tarts were flying. [Rachel walks into the living room with Richie's broken penguin beak, coutesy of a jealous Judy]. Right now you have over a 100 crazed teenagers in your backyard ready to boogie. [Harriette laughs as Laura leaves the living room to help Mother Winslow get ready]. Steve looks at Laura], [At The Winslow home in the alternate world]. You think I'm fat. It helps to determine how much help you need. Carl Otis Winslow: Look at it again, Harriette. Laura: Maybe not, there has to be some guy who doesn't have a date. Ms. Steuben: I know, Steven. 8. I can teach you how to cook. Harriette Winslow: Now let's hit the sack. Steven Quincy "Steve" Urkel: I demand satisfaction. Laura Lee Winslow: Oh lord, you're gonna die. Carl: Of all the names that I have called you , the one that bothers you is butthead? Hey, you could be making this whole thing up! Judy Winslow: Boring. Self respect. Steve Urkel: Uh, Eddie, is this a bad time? Willie Fuffner: [Grabs Steves gloves] Urkel, you are dead meat! Harriette, THERE IS A CAR IN THE LIVING ROOM! Steve Urkel: Well, ya see, we had a little muffin mayhem. Steve Urkel: Why, sure! Well if he does it again, I'm gonna grab his bellows and make a wish. Carl Otis Winslow: Two stalks of broccoli and three pieces of asparagus? Carl Otis Winslow: Well is she still crying? Oh, yes it is! Carl Otis Winslow: Calm down, Harriette, you're overreacting. Waldo: Fifteen and that's as high as I'm going. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: March 10, Went to the market. Harriette Winslow: No, Carl let's call it what it really is, Cheap and Lazy. To be quite frank I was embarrassed and so were all the other customers. Willie Fuffner: Because, he humiliated me! Bye! Carl Otis Winslow: [Laura comes home distraught] Laura, what happened? Laura Lee Winslow: No, I think we learned that Steve's experiments has gone too far. It's the closest I'll ever get to marrying you- thats why I wanted you to have this- no strings attached- just the one to my heart. "Tomorrow, Dad!" Rachel Crawford: Yeah do you want to be buried or cremated? Harriette Winslow: Then clean it up, I'm still on strike. [Pulls him into a hug]. Urkelbot: [Joe Friday Impression] Just the facts, ma'am. Midway through the first season, the show introduced the Winslows' nerdy neighbor Steve Urkel (Jaleel White), who quickly became its breakout character and eventually the show's main character. Harriette Winslow: You hit my husband again and you'll have to answer to me. Me and Laura went ice skating together. Daniel Wallace: Hey, man. Then instead of admitting it, you let us spread a log in Lake Michigan. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Yeah, well you have to get rid of them. I couldn't turn right around and refuse to go out with him. It's a beautiful language. Why would somebody do this to me?' Steve Urkel: Can I have a glass of milk to go with my face? Eddo. I'll teach that. No phones. It was your free safety. Carl Otis Winslow: Oh nothing, never mind! Harriette Winslow: Carl Winslow, this is the most insensitive, unromantic gift I have ever received. My, what strong arms. Rachel Crawford: Can you make him quack like a duck every time the phone rings? Whem I'm unhappy about something, I say so. "I'm Asian, so I'll eat your cat." 2. Becky Sue: Oh, we couldn't do that. Family Matters is an American sitcom series that originated on ABC from September 22, 1989 to May 9, 1997, before moving to CBS from September 19, 1997 to July 17, 1998. Chocum hi chip chok!". Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [Steve as Stefan] Steve? Cassie Lynn: Look, Becky Sue. Laura Lee Winslow: I don't know, and quite frankly, I'm tired of thinking about it. The people that did this to us are teaching the same GARBAGE to their kids. Where did you get the money for this? Edward 'Eddie' Winslow: Then how 'bout a nice juicy thigh? Laura Lee Winslow: Tonight is the charity bachelor auction. Laura: [Curtis is about to break bad news to Laura] Curtis! We've got cheerleaders taller than him. Steve Urkel: I can't believe this! Forget it, Steve. It was the most terrifying five minutes of my life, second only to watching Lord of the Dance! Stefan Urquelle: Steve, what's up with your cousin? Well let me tell you something sir, if that's the kind of boss you are. We're starved. Do these guys have game? [Steve is in the kitchen recovering from Laura and her sock stuffed b*obs. Steve Urkel: Oh, I see. Carl: Steve, will you please stop sulking and come out of the bathroom? Carl, someone parked their own piece of junk in our driveway. A bee to a blossom. Steve Urkel: My uncle, Elijah Urkel, has been struck by lightning four times. [Eddie sits down and Carl grabs his hair]. I can assure you that we Urkels are a fine, old family, with a proud name. "I heard you are looking for a stud. Carl: Uh-oh. [Steve is eating frozen fish sticks out of the box]. I want to know why my instructions were not followed. Remember you wished that Steve could find out what's it like to be you. Why she is woman, hear me roar. Midway through the first season, the show introduced the Winslows' nerdy neighbor Steve Urkel (Jaleel White), who quickly became its breakout character and eventually the show's main character. Stefan Urkelle: Wake me, shake me, break me, but baby, don't forsake me. He just told you to get lost. Edward! Allison: Look, we're just having a little harmless fun. Actor Jaleel White, famous for his cultural touchstone role as Steve Urkel in Family Matters, is entering the cannabis industry.Through a partnership with 710 Labs, White's new cannabis line . 7. Maxine Johnson: It happens every year the day of the prom. Laura Lee Winslow: What you did for me tonight was really special. He's so sad he could depress Richard Simmons. The Nineties. We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly.